


Hermit the Boy

by harmonia_bloom



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Sad, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:21:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harmonia_bloom/pseuds/harmonia_bloom
Summary: People are connecting, but Five doesn't know what to feel - or 5 times Five thought he didn't deserve love.(Just a little character study).
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	Hermit the Boy

1\. They had just turned 12. Five bent down to pick up a silverware that had fallen on the floor at dinner. What Five saw did not shock him, did not horrify him - in fact, it made no difference, if not for a sharp tightening of the heart. Allison and Luther's hands almost touching under the table, in a gesture of transformation from innocence to the lust of love.

Perhaps Five didn't deserve affection.

2\. Five did not understand the concept of passion. So many years as the only survivor in a dystopian future didn't make him being in need of soft curves, the shudder of a touch. So Diego had dated that pretty cop who had appeared on the news? Good for him, Five thought as he rummaged through the cabinets for coffee.

Perhaps Five didn't deserve desire.

3\. That plea for approval that Vanya always cultivated made Five uncomfortable. For him, love is a practice, not a set of words, and the greatest proof of that was how much he loved his siblings, to the point of saving them from an apocalypse at the cost of his age regression. But the glow that popped out of Vanya's eyes when she mentioned Leonard...

Perhaps Five didn't deserve approval.

4\. When Five found out that Klaus deliberately changed the timeline to save a man he loved, he shrugged. Would he do the same for someone special? It's hard to say. Of course, there were complications involved, but he, a cold killer, couldn't judge his brother.

Perhaps Five didn't deserve protection.

5\. Can ghosts fall in love?, Diego asked when Klaus commented on the feelings Ben had for one of the cult's followers. Why can't I fall in love? Five wondered internally, bitterness growing in his mouth.

Perhaps Five didn't deserve love.

"Or perhaps", he thought, reloading a gun, ready to face members of The Comission. "Perhaps love doesn't deserve me".

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just feeling sad, very sad. Well, when I don't know how to express myself, I can only write - even if it's for a character. Maybe we don't deserve to be loved. Or maybe love doesn't deserve us. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it :)


End file.
